Random but serious ponderings

ok...ive been pondering over some thoughts over the last few days and i think i just wanna let it out somewhere...and as promised in my previous post, this is what i wanna say..but i think i wanna share 2 major stuff that ive been pondering on and praying about...

hmmm...ok first of all...i was talking to bedu and some of the indo gang whom im rather close wif in sch...was chatting wif them over lunch and they were mentioning that they are applying for job at nihon mura and after having that convo and we parted i started to think to myself...im coming to 20 this yr and i think that it is about time i learn to fend for myself in terms of my finances...otherwise who's gonna fend for me when real emergencies take place in the future? furthermore i dun wanna be a leech and keep depending on other ppl....havent talked about this to my parents yet but i think i shouldnt be depending too much on pocket money from parents and stuff...i feel like gg to look for a part time job to get some finances from there...

another reason why i feel like working is that i wanna start building my finances early and slowly build it up for the future esp if i get married...need to provide for family...i dun wan to be too rich cos tat would spoil my kids but neither do i wan to be a useless dad and husband who cant provide enough for the family and get hated by my kids...and it would be very embarrassing for my kids and myself if i cant provide enough for the family...

but but but....where am i going to find the time? or is it just me giving myself excuses? but heres what ive been thinking if im gonna look for a part time job:

schwork is getting heavier and heavier as the days go by...and weekends i'll have church services which i die die am never giving up on that...and tat leaves me weds and fris tat i'll be able to work but tat would mean my schwork would spill onto my weekends and which would eventually mean that i would have much less time for ppl around me...which im alr having rite now...and that would also mean my productivity for schwork is gonna drop as well...gonna be so worn out and tired and i would have absolutely no time to spend wif ppl around me...and when yr 2 and yr 3 comes how am i gonna survive all the way? something's gotta be sacrificed but which one?

but i feel tat im making excuses for myself...hais...

another thing ive been thinking about would be that i would have to choose my major pretty soon...i learnt my lesson the real hard way about not choosing what appears to be 'shortcuts' which i did in poly and it cost me a real big blow...and i definitely wouldnt want the same thing to happen cos tat would defeat the purpose of quitting poly and moving on here...i still have my dreams of becoming an animator some day which alr existed in me since my sec sch days alr...but i also have interest in illustration and advertising...

ok i noe ive typed a long post tdy...if u can be bothered to read up til this point i reli appreciate that...=)

Lord, i need directions...SOS please...

Farenheit 911

wooo!! watched farenheit 911 during film appreciation class tdy! haha...have heard about it before but never watched it til tdy...haha...for tat class we will watch a movie every week which suits some of the topics tat we are touching on and as we are watching the movie we are supposed to look deep into wat we watch cos eventually need to do some class discussion and analysis about the movie...and its not just a part of the movie but we watch the whole movie til the end...tdy was on montage and etc...anyways the show was more of a documentary about George W Bush and as i watched the show there was so much anger in me towards george bush sia...alot of interesting uncovered truths and dirty stuff tat he did tat i have never heard about George W Bush before...and some parts were rather touching...like they showed how some of the soldiers felt when they were fighting the war in iraq...like how alot of the soldiers felt so guilty from all the killings over there...

the after-show discussion was rather fruitful tdy...hahaha...like everyone was sooo into the discussion about how we felt and which part of the show caught attention most and etc tat it was so hard to stop...and the class ended about 15 mins later after the discussion! omg...and the teacher rocks too la...cos the teacher ever worked at new york before so told us some secrets about that place...and then i began to see more of how selfish and greedy ppl are...and in tdy's lesson im beginning to learn tat movies are like one of the most subtle ways today in which ppl can easily be led astray if they arent careful...

film appreciation is now one of my fav modules other than graphic design and design drawing...first time im doing lit since i hated it in sec 2 when i thought i was never ever gonna see and do lit again but here i am loving it now...wahahahhaa...how ironic rite?

awesome movies to look forward to in the weeks ahead...teacher said tat we would be watching toy story and wizard of oz too omg! cant wait for these 2 sia...and toy story since toy story 3 is coming out in june this yr i think? omgomgomg!!

ok la...actually there was some stuff i wanted to say but i think ill say it in my next post la...getting too lengthy le...

Makeover?

hmmm...i dunno but i have been thinking of doing some makeovers to my image...hahaha...im coming to 20 this yr alr and alot of ppl have been telling me to try somethin different about my images esp about the clothes i wear...like im always wearing boring dark colors like black...and i should venture and try out some other bright colored and trendy kind of clothes some of which id prolly be uncomfy wearing it at first...but eventually i decided to learn to try out abit...not too bright but fairly ok la...haha...

and okaayy...was wif jitty and gang to shop for some clothes jus now...and they made me try on a PINK shirt! they said no harm trying it first...and then omg...so went to the fitting room to try out the shirt...and then i was staring at myself wif tat pink shirt inside dere...and i realised tat it seemed nt bad on me...so eventually i decided to buy it...but i dunno whether it looks gay la...

.

tada...pinkie boiii...

and...this thought has been wif me since after o levels but it has never happened...but i feel like coloring my hair red...hmmm...i did some testing on photoshop on the red i wanna color my hair...

hmmm...do gimme comments yea pals? haha...its been a looong battle...

haha...i rmb after my o lvls when almost all colored their hair except me and a few...haha...but i missed those fun days before the clique gt disbanded...lol

Poly owarimashitaka?

in a moments time frens around me are gonna be done wif poly life and moving on wif the next phase of life....be it ns or uni or working life...well its still pretty depressing for me to see friends around me graduating soon while im only into the 2nd sem of my new course in nafa...so far til where i am...i would like to thank all those ppl who stood by me in a way or another...and for those ppl wif exceptionally low EQ and those kpos out there...i dont need u to rub it in...but still i wanna thank u for letting me noe that u are sooo immature...or should i say 'child-like'... =)

im still in the process of picking myself up and moving forward...even though its been so long alr...but sometimes no matter how far u have moved, there will be points where u will look back...its inevitable i should say...but still im happy for my frens and besties who are about to graduate...=)

anyways here are some of the great friends around me whom i've known since the age of the dinosaurs:

haha...the jappies...still going out to K wif them off and on...and we are bonded by 1 common thing wif them...we all LOVE nihon...=) (but they are way advanced dan me in nihongo alr dan me)....

and not forgetting my great church buddies...its amazing how we've seen each other grow and how we've come this far to being this close...

thanks all of u for brightening up and adding colors to my life...knowing the fact tat u ppl exist in my life reli brightens me up alot...=)

Is being selfish part of growing up?

i feel that lately ive been becoming more and more selfish as the days passes by one by one...is it me becoming more selfish and inhuman or is it just that im growing up? im turning 20 end of this yr and my teenage days are soon going to be over...is it part and parcel of me growing up? cant be right?

i dont know...i feel that ive somehow changed in some way or another...i dont feel myself being the same me that i used to be years ago...or rather the same me that i was last yr...i noe change is inevitable and people will change from time to time...but i seriously dont want to be someone who would soon belong to that category of 'ugly beast'...i still wanna be that 2-legged human being who still has a heart...am i still immature or sth?

ok and to side track abit now (even though wat im gonna say is somewhat linked)....

i was in a class known as "film appreciation" yesterday and we were watching this show entitled "memento" and usually we are supposed to watch films and then try and read in between the lines of the film and so try and discuss what we feel about the show and what message the film is trying to convey and etc...abit like lit...but anyways back to the point...what i voiced was that i feel the movie was trying to give the message of "don't be too trusting"....and it was quite interesting how the teacher slowly linked to the story of "little red riding hood" that dont tell me u have never heard of...and he brought about a point about that story that i never thought about before and i quite agree about how he said that theres a trend that 'big bad wolves' are always a male gender and never a female one...and then he said that the writers are probably indirectly telling even young girls 'never to trust men' esp in little red riding hood...lol...

that made me ponder as well...there seems to be this trend that men are usually termed as 'inhuman' more often than females...probably we men just have to learn to face it (if u have not)...that we are the more inhuman gender although females do have their weaknesses too...of course i wanna learn be a man but i dont reli want to be classified under the category of 'typical men'...or is it a 'take all or leave all' kind of principle whereby if u wanna be a man then u have to be classified as those 'typical man'?

i like film appreciation...and im beginning to love it...haha...reli fun to read into films and decipher and guess meanings behind the films...i rmb how i used to hate lit back in those days in hss and i have never thought i'll be one of those litty-witty people one day...but guess wat...i am one now...aha...prob cos ive been seeing and doing art too much? wahaha...im just happy being that double brainer that i am...hahahahaaha...ok i noe im being quite bhb...xD...to conclude a quite emo post...=)

Pri 1 teacher

wooo....so coincidental....ran into my pri 1 teacher mdm noorazmah at compass point tdy...hahahaha...she looks much older now...but well she was like mi very first favorite teacher in sch and hah...at first we were staring at each other cos we looked familiar to each other....and then i first approached her...hahahah...its been like close to 13 yrs alr now? hahaha...those innocent days back then when i first entered pri sch...aha...and i rmb she oso used to teach me art in pri 1...hahaha...i rmb i used to always anticipate all her classes esp art lessons...mi very first art classes based on which i slowly developed a liking for art which probably back then i could have never imagined that it would be where i would place my career hopes on...

and then we were doing some mini chit chat session cos she was waiting for someone and she was wif her youngest son who's abt 9 yrs old i think? obviously she would ask me where am i now...and then i told her that i was in NAFA but it was quite hard for me to answer at first...

i feel like crying man...its just too nostalgic...after we parted ways that moment i just sat down there to ponder for awhile and hence ive decided to do pause from my work and do some reflections here...

13 years ago about this time of the year, i just got enrolled into p1 in st michaels...innocent in heart and appearance, and then i was slowly trying to adapt to school life and that was where i started to embark on my journey in school...got to meet her for the first time...tat time still so blur blur and then slowly she started to shape our pri 1 days....and then that time i was the reli quiet quiet sort and didnt reli talk to alot of people...and then now, 13 years later, we met again and everyone came a long long way to where they are today including myself...and then i was thinking to myself "where has all those moments gone to?"

and then i got reminded of this song that was played in church on sunday titled "The Time of Your Life"...omg so timely...well just wanna share this song wif all u who are reading this post..enjoy...=)

iPhone madness

Predator Beauty

i noe this is random...but i simply love those predators of the wild...especially those big felines like lions and tigers...and not forgetting predators such as crocodiles and great white sharks...hahaha...not saying that i dare to go near them but what makes me love them so is their magnificent and powerful look...i started to read about these predators and watch them on documentaries like those in animal planet when i was really young and when i still had SCV in the past and what made me fall in love with them is their amazing powerful natures which is powerful enough to make me speechless...and up til today i still love them alot.
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of all the predators in the wild...this is my favorite predator...the lions and second are tigers...

this was taken in sept 2008 when i was in everland in korea where there was a zoo in the theme park and we had to get on this bus which would bring you around the zoo there...and the best thing is that you can get to see these animals upclose while u are sheltered in the bus...and i didnt zoom anything ok...but well, just looking at these animals is enough to make me speechless...just by looking at them only and you will get to feel their magnificence, beauty and power....when i was sitting in that bus that time i so felt like stroking them but it was an enclosed bus and it would be dangerous...

i didnt take this foto but this is my favorite predator of the sea...u noe la...great white shark...once again...it is its frightening look and power that amazes me so much....how all these predators are powerful enough to create fear among the kingdoms out there...

ok to cut the long long story short ( i noe its long alr), this makes me come to a realization of how we humans are just nothing but mere insects which can be easily crushed by the majority of creatures in the animal kingdom which are far more powerful than humans...take away those guns and weapons that humans possess...what are we but just mere nothing...but why are people in this world so proud? it just kind of saddens me to noe that there are people who just want to end the lives of these gorgeous predators...maybe there are still many ppl out there who still fail to realise their magnificence...

imagine if those predators were on our side...wat is there to fear?

once again i would like to thank God for all those great friends whom He has placed in my life...=)

First week, DOWN!

woo...first week of sch is gone...yep...my week officially ends on thursdays every week cos ive got no classes on fridays...haha...so now its TGIT's instead of TGIF...hahhaa...and weds no sch too...2 days off from sch...which is good cos i can spend those 2 days working on assignments...but well this sem seems much tougher than last sem...have 8 modules in total....and first week doesnt feel like a first week but rather a third week of sch...quite alot of work to do alr...but still ive managed to accomplish quite alot alr...and oh...i feel kind of suay cos ive got stricter teachers this sem....Lord pls give mi strength to pull through...and yep ill always look forward and anticipate weekends....=)

haha...finished watching a korean drama called Cruel Temptation before holidays ended...hahaha...great show i must say...touching..hahha..i like how eunjae (leading character) comes back and own that stuck up rich family and eventually cause them to tremble cos they thought that she was dead...hahaha...nice one man....but what comes after that? haha....i dont wanna be a spoiler la...watch if u are interested to find out...but one caution is that the show is addictive...and pls prepare a box of tissues beside u esp if u are a really emotional person...hahaa...xD...

okayyy...wif that im off! haha....=)

to end of this post...i will say that His grace is always amazing...=)

Greetings

greetings everyone...new yr new blog...hahahaha...ok la...this will be an outlet where i will express myself...my feelings and happenings as well as some of mi recommendations of the good stuffs...food critiques and etc...(p.s. if i have the time)...

ok first day of sch wasnt too bad...even though i was almost completely voiceless...thank goodness arts management class doesnt start till 22nd march so class ends at 1 tdy...and finally collected mi lappie at funan before heading home! haha...now tmr's gonna be a challenge...first 'marathon' ill be running from 9 til 7pm...and then 1 days rest on wed...praying tat ill survive tmr...i will la...

so tat shall be mi first post everyone! gonna get some rest alr! =)