ok...ive been pondering over some thoughts over the last few days and i think i just wanna let it out somewhere...and as promised in my previous post, this is what i wanna say..but i think i wanna share 2 major stuff that ive been pondering on and praying about...
hmmm...ok first of all...i was talking to bedu and some of the indo gang whom im rather close wif in sch...was chatting wif them over lunch and they were mentioning that they are applying for job at nihon mura and after having that convo and we parted i started to think to myself...im coming to 20 this yr and i think that it is about time i learn to fend for myself in terms of my finances...otherwise who's gonna fend for me when real emergencies take place in the future? furthermore i dun wanna be a leech and keep depending on other ppl....havent talked about this to my parents yet but i think i shouldnt be depending too much on pocket money from parents and stuff...i feel like gg to look for a part time job to get some finances from there...
another reason why i feel like working is that i wanna start building my finances early and slowly build it up for the future esp if i get married...need to provide for family...i dun wan to be too rich cos tat would spoil my kids but neither do i wan to be a useless dad and husband who cant provide enough for the family and get hated by my kids...and it would be very embarrassing for my kids and myself if i cant provide enough for the family...
but but but....where am i going to find the time? or is it just me giving myself excuses? but heres what ive been thinking if im gonna look for a part time job:
schwork is getting heavier and heavier as the days go by...and weekends i'll have church services which i die die am never giving up on that...and tat leaves me weds and fris tat i'll be able to work but tat would mean my schwork would spill onto my weekends and which would eventually mean that i would have much less time for ppl around me...which im alr having rite now...and that would also mean my productivity for schwork is gonna drop as well...gonna be so worn out and tired and i would have absolutely no time to spend wif ppl around me...and when yr 2 and yr 3 comes how am i gonna survive all the way? something's gotta be sacrificed but which one?
but i feel tat im making excuses for myself...hais...
another thing ive been thinking about would be that i would have to choose my major pretty soon...i learnt my lesson the real hard way about not choosing what appears to be 'shortcuts' which i did in poly and it cost me a real big blow...and i definitely wouldnt want the same thing to happen cos tat would defeat the purpose of quitting poly and moving on here...i still have my dreams of becoming an animator some day which alr existed in me since my sec sch days alr...but i also have interest in illustration and advertising...
ok i noe ive typed a long post tdy...if u can be bothered to read up til this point i reli appreciate that...=)
Lord, i need directions...SOS please...
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