Why, why, why....

it is so much easier to ask questions dan to receive answers...was reading subha's blog and i agree wif wat she says about finding answers to questions are never easy...thoughts come in everyday...and thoughts will come with questions which most of the time there never seems to be an answer for it....and most of the time, these thoughts and questions are negative ones...

if u are reading this blog...u should at least have known me or our paths have crossed before somewhere...or u might be someone who hopped into here from a friend's link...but anyways...u might see me as someone who is forever smiley, cheery and outgoing...but there's really more to me...u might think that im the sort who is almost quite impossible to get emo...but surprise surprise....u are soooo wrong...i have feelings too okayyy....

everyone i know has alr unofficially finished poly ...dmd fusion is coming in 2 wks time...i could have been there proudly showing my works to friends, employers and clients-to-be...proudly proclaiming to the rest of the world tat ive made it through poly, got my diploma and made it successfully etc....

up til now...this is one of the biggest question marks i still have...something that i still find it hard to understand...even though im alr moving on wif my life....i seem to still be looking back and trying to find answers to this question even though i know ill probably never get the answer....and up til now...this whole thing seems really surreal...its feels like im in a really bad dream but somehow i can never be able to wake up...churchies i know u have heard my story time and again and im once again repeating it but pls bear wif me if u must yea...=)

its still really hard for me to figure out that i left dmd...the questions still linger...and ppl if u dun noe the reasons i would strongly appreciate it if u do not speculate...but anyways it was a course of my dreams since secondary sch...since like prolly sec 2? hah....i rmb mr heng favoured me in sec 2 cos i was top in class for art (not showing off) while most of the rest all CMI in art de...and i rmb him talking to me and asking me whether i was interested in animation...and then he was telling me about animation and tat was when tat seed was first planted in me...and tat was when tv mobile started showing nyp's gan cheong...and i thought tat it was reli cool...and so i slowly worked towards achieving tat goal while along the way it faded as i was acing in my other subjs as well like my 2 maths, bio and physics....got favored by teachers like tan soon yong (a great teacher i miss alot)....but my dream of entering dmd never died...

my dream got fulfilled...i got into dmd....but it got shattered overnight...just wif the snap of my fingers and things changed...

and i rmb when i was gg to submit my letter to withdraw from pjc tat time during pae...i rmb my teacher there asked me why and i told her tat i was only gg there to have a feel of jc life but i never had intentions to go jc cos i wanted to go into nyp dmd (the other reason being tat pjc was toooooo far for me)...and then she was smiling and said tat she was happy for me cos i know wat i want...and she gave me a ferraro rocher before i left...

apart from this big issue big enough to make a movie out of it...there are still so many questions tat lurk through my mind....